


Contemplation

by Higgies230



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Established Relationship, Insecure Ian Gallagher, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, post 9x06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 16:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17707838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgies230/pseuds/Higgies230
Summary: Ian is feeling insecure about his relationship with Mickey now that they are out of prison. After a late night walk he decides on a spur of the moment proposal. Obviously he has more worries about that but it has to turn out okay- doesn't it?





	Contemplation

  Ian woke slowly, feeling the tears hot on his face. As soon as he was conscious enough, shaking away the last tendrils of the nightmare, the redhead huffed in annoyance, the noise wet and broken. The dream- nightmare- was Mickey leaving. It was the same dream that had been repeating since Mickey had gotten out of jail.

  They had served their two years together before Ian was released three weeks before Mickey. Those three weeks had been so impossibly lonely without his boyfriend. Ian had visited him everyday for as long as he could but it hadn’t been enough, hadn’t been the same.

  The two years prior it had been just him and Mickey. They had been forced into close contact at all times- well Mickey had chosen it and Ian had been over the moon about it but they had been close all of the time nonetheless. Sharing a cell with the brunette had given them plenty of time for reconciliation, lots of time to just be with each other, bask in each other. In those two years they had grown closer than they ever had been before with Ian working to build Mickey’s trust back.

  The brunette had tried to hide his reservations about what they had but Ian had seen through it. He had known Mickey long enough after all. The man loved him- that was clear- but he still couldn’t quite believe that Mickey had gotten himself thrown in jail for Ian. _Again_. Mickey had done that just to be with him.

  Now they weren’t locked up though and yet Mickey was still here. Had been free for a whole week and was still here with Ian. In fact, the man was lying there right beside the redhead in that moment, on his stomach, arms under the pillow and slack, sleeping face turned towards Ian.

  The Gallagher looked over at his sleeping boyfriend, letting his head roll on the pillow and just taking in the sight of him. He could see the way his chest moved up and down with even breaths in his sleep, hear the breaths even, know that he was there. Despite that, he couldn’t help but reach out to touch, tracing his fingers lightly down Mickey’s arm. Solid, really, truly there.

  But for how long? That was the nightmare. How long now that Mickey was a free man, no longer on the run, would he stay? How long would he stay now that he wasn’t paying for Ian’s mistakes, now that he wasn’t paying for their relationship? That was how all of this started after all, revenge on Sammy for getting Ian caught by the army.

  Biting down on his lip, Ian stifled a sob as he thought about it, turning his head away and drawing back his hand. As gently and quietly as he could, he sat up and pushed himself out of bed, standing up naked and reaching for a pair of boxers- he knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep now.

  Slowly getting dressed, Ian kept his jaw clenched as he looked back at Mickey, still fast asleep in the bed. They had been staying at the Gallagher house seeing as it was only really Lip and Liam living there recently and Terry was for once not in prison and holing up at the Milkovich house. They were in their own room, one that apparently they would be keeping for a long while.

  The clock on the bedside table showed that it was six seventeen in red blinking numbers, Mickey wouldn’t wake for hours, nor would anyone else. Ian really needed air, deciding a walk would do him good.

  Conscientious about how Mickey got, Ian wrote a note before he left. Leaving it on the bedside table before leaving the room. The house was silent, empty and lonely as he made his way to the front door, pulling on his jacket and shoes before leaving the house and jogging down the steps.

  After that he wasn’t really thinking about the way that he was walking, had no idea where he would head even if he was thinking. He was just lost in the thought of losing his boyfriend. The man had been there through his first bout of crazy but Ian didn’t know if they would last if that happened again. That time a lifetime ago that Ian had broken up with Mickey it was for that very reason, he had taken the cowards way out then.

  The thoughts just swirled in his head until he found himself at a bridge, the occasional car passing by. He stopped and looked around, pulling his jacket closer about him to battle the cold wind that whipped across the bridge. Pulling out his phone, Ian checked the time only to see that he had already been walking for over an hour.

  Sighing, Ian went and leaned against the railings, looking down into the murky depth of the river beneath him. The water was black and inky, flowing sluggishly it seemed although Ian knew that it would be racing along. If he were to jump in, the water would be freezing, he would drown after the shock of the impact, swept away before he could even try to surface.

  But he wouldn’t jump in, because there was still a chance that Mickey would stay with him. As he gripped the rail and rested his head against the cold metal, he tried to imagine a long future where he and Mickey grew old. He wanted to marry the man. He didn’t want anyone else ever, just Mickey.

  He needed to ask Mickey to marry him. Yes, he needed to do that.

  But what if he said no?

  His phone was still in his hand, he unlocked it to see the smiling picture of himself and Mickey with their faces pressed close together, happy. Fighting down the wave of emotion that came with it, he opened up contacts, finger hovering just over Mick, just a click and he would call. No doubt his boyfriend would pick up, Ian could practically see the ruffled visual of his brunette waking up and picking up the phone. He couldn’t wake Mickey up though, he needed sleep where he didn’t have to worry about what was going to happen like he had for the last four years, maybe even more.

  He wanted to do this now. In fact, he had his wallet on him, his card. If he brought a ring now in one of those pawn shops- Mickey would never mind having a cheap ring, they were southside after all- and then he could ask him when he woke up. If he said no then Ian could just beg him to forget it and it would be all okay. Right?

  Taking a deep breath, Ian made his way forward, he had seen a pawn shop around here before. Sure enough, ten minutes down the road. It’s blinking lights now on, a man standing behind the counter at this early hour. Sighing in relief, Ian entered the store, the man looking up and smiling at him.

  “Hey,” Ian greeted.

  “Hello sir, how may I help you?” the man responded.

  “I’m looking for the cheapest ring you have, it’s kind of like a token proposal thing to my boyfriend, hard to explain,” Ian stuttered out, feeling rather like a fool.

  “Okay, lets have a look sir.”

  Ian with the help of the store keeper, looked through all of the cheapest rings, the redhead eventually settling for a plain silver band. That would be more than enough for Mickey, the man would hate anything that was too fancy and his wedding ring when he was married to Svetlana had been gold so silver was perfect.

  “Thank you so much,” Ian said as he pocketed the band after paying the man.

  The walk back was spent with Ian fretting over this decision. He couldn’t help the dread that Mickey would say no and then freak out, unable to even be around him anymore. He also couldn’t shake that if Mickey said yes it wouldn’t mean anything, that even if Mickey became his fiancé, they might not make it to marriage and even if they did that didn’t mean anything.

  Before he knew it though, he was stood back outside the Gallagher home, the weight of the ring in his pocket heavy. Taking a deep breath, he made his way back up the steps, the sun rising behind him, shedding his coat and shoes in the doorway before making his way back up the steps.

  Mickey was still asleep in the bedroom, having moved from his stomach to his side, curled up against Ian’s pillow on the redhead’s side of the bed. Smiling softly, Ian made his way around and sat on Mickey’s side, back against the headboard, watching the man sleep peacefully for a moment.

  After a short while, Ian pulled the ring out of his pocket, turning it over and over in his hands, watching the way that the light from the new dawn glinted off of it, mind now- finally- blank. He was still staring at it to the point that he didn’t notice the man next to him waking up and rolling over.

  “What you got there then?” he heard the sleepy voice, jumping and turning to face Mickey with wide eyes.

  “I- um,” Ian tried, still staring as Mickey sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

   He was tongue tied so he just thrust the thing at him. Mickey took it, looking from the ring to Ian and back again with a confused look on his face.

  “A ring?” Mickey half asked, half stated.

  “Yeah, um, please marry me?” Ian got out, almost begging Mickey with his eyes.

  “Really?” Mickey asked.

  “Yeah? I mean you pretty much asked me just before Sammy tried to kill you anyway right?” Ian replied.

  “Guess I did.”

  “So is that a yes?” Ian asked suddenly uncertain, “because you don’t have to, I mean yeah give it back. Please.”

  “Jesus Christ Ian, no. I mean yes. Yes to marrying you dumbass, you’ve been it for me for years,” Mickey replied, looking almost horrified.

  “Really?” Ian asked, stunned.

  “Yeah tough guy,” Mickey smiled, putting the ring on and showing his hand to Ian, the metal resting on the second “u” on u-up.

  “Oh thank God,” Ian breathed, gripping the back of Mickey’s neck and pulling him in for a deep kiss.

  The sex with his new fiancé that morning was the best he’d ever had.


End file.
